Here are Psalms I tried to give voice to as someone today might during the pains of life.
Psalm 13 – look me in the eye
Have I been put in some dark corner where you’ve forgotten about me, Lord? How long until you stumble across me and remember me again? When will you even look me in the eye so I can remember what your face looks like?
How long will all these worries and fears keep building up inside of me? Each day I’m devastated inside like I was the day before. Will the people who are against me ever stop taking pleasure in my pain and suffering. They use anything they can against me.
Please stop and really think about me… and say something, Lord, my God. It’s so dark all around me that you could be right next to me and I wouldn’t know it except by faith. Please give me that faith that lights up this darkness. Without it I feel like death’s current will pull me under.
If you don’t help me now, the people who fight against me will think they’ve won. The very ones who turned my world upside down will pat themselves on the back because I can’t seem to pull it together.
But the truth of my story comes back to me now. Your goodness, even when I didn’t deserve it, has been my real support. What has really held me up in all this is your loving gentleness and patience for me. I can believe in that now with confidence.
As I think about the way that you ultimately rescue me, I feel my emotions coming back to life. My heart wakes up. You have given me so many good things that when I think about them I feel like singing again to you, Lord.
Psalm 142 – no way out
I want so badly to be heard that I scream out loud when I pray! I yell out for the things I need from Him.
I gather up everything that is wrong with my world and dump it in a big pile in front of Him. All the turmoil in my life is put right there where He would have to trip over it.
God, you knew! When my heavy emotions threw all their weight on me and I was fainting just trying to walk, you saw my steps and the path.
There was hidden danger and evil that could trap me.
Look at who is coming at me! There is not a familiar, friendly face among them!
The places I thought were safe blew up in my face and there is no way out! I’ve come to the conclusion that no one really cares about how I feel or even if I live or die.
I yelled and called to You, Lord. I told You, “I believe that You are my only safe place to hide, my only real treasure in this life.”
Listen to my screams for help because I’ve reached rock bottom. I need You to protect me from those who are hurting me because they are more powerful than I am. I can’t win against them without You.
My life feels like it’s being lived out in a dungeon.
But… if I were released from that dungeon I could go on and on about how You delivered me. I don’t think I would ever stop thanking You. The people who really love You and follow You would gather around me and all of us would celebrate. We would all talk about how, over and over, You will bring good things into my life.