The Other 167 Hours

life outside the session

Archive for the tag “Clinical psychology”

Tired, depressed, or just don’t feel like it?

How to Overcome Depression
Image by kevindooley via Flickr

You know those times when you don’t even feel like feeling like it?

“It” can be almost anything,

  • getting out of bed,
  • doing that household chore,
  • going somewhere,
  • seeing someone,
  • talking,
  • listening,
  • making a decision,
  • going to bed.

There are many ways the story can play out from there. There are lots of possible responses that may be okay, including just not doing “it.”  Let’s assume you have come to the conclusion that you want to change your outlook on things.  It’s like admitting that you’ve been taking pictures of your life with your thumb over the camera lens. You know you don’t like the pictures you’re getting. They’re depressing or irritating and I’ll bet that your response to the pictures is starting to get on the nerves of someone around you.

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Motivation: If I don’t yell, how will anything get done?

Yell
Image by Clover_1 via Flickr

Yes, we can motivate people by yelling at them. (How else would we explain the existence of Little League?) It does motivate people to do something, but it may not be their best. It may motivate them to hide. It may motivate them to do what it takes to get us to stop yelling. If our goal is to help cultivate a lasting and positive change in someone, we don’t want to start with showing them that we are out of control ourselves. Remember that no matter what the words are that come out, the message of yelling is, “Please, someone calm me down because I can’t calm myself down.”

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Marriage: Why do I love you? Because I can.

I want to suggest that the only satisfying answer to the question, “Why do you love me?” is, “Because I can.”

This question is different from asking what you like about me, or what initially built an attachment between us. It’s okay to have specific answers to those questions.

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Taking Turns: Do we ever really learn?

In a world without peers, or equals, there would never be a problem with taking turns. If someone has a higher status than you, of course they would go first and you would go next, if at all. If you have a higher status, then you never have to wait for others, right? Everything’s fine. No confusion. No problem. Everyone knows who goes first at the intersection, who steps aside when you meet in a hallway, who enters the door first.

Wedding
Image via Wikipedia

But what if there is another? An equal, a peer, a spouse? What if we each have strong opinions and emotions that we need to understand and communicate (not necessarily in that order.) Let’s add into the mix a fear I have that I will never get a turn if you go first. What if what you say only makes what I have to say more urgent? What if it has to be solved now? What if there is no time to waste, because these emotions are so uncomfortable that I can’t imagine just containing them for another day or so. Read more…

Grief: What if it still hurts?

When a new year begins, we all become more aware of the passing of time and the passing of years.

It’s a good time to think about the blessings of the past year and identify hopes and goals for the future. I would recommend you do that.

But that’s not all that happens, is it?

(By the way, those of you who have had no pain or disappointment in your life can skip to the end now. Thanks.) Read more…

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