The Other 167 Hours

life outside the session

Archive for the tag “christian psychologist”

28 Jul 2011
5 Comments

BANG! BANG!

orange_vest_medium

I have never hunted.

Well, except once at summer camp in the coastal mountains of California when three of us jr-highers decided to go after some rattle snakes with our wrist-rockets. (It was a family camp so I’m really not sure where our parents were.) The camp cook promised he would cook it if we caught it. Yes, it did taste like chicken.

Ok. Now that I’ve defended my manhood…

I have never hunted but I do know what those ugly orange vests are for. You’re out in the wild tuning your ear to the slighted rustle and interpreting it. You’re on the alert because you are in a sort of competition. You win if you can react before your prey does. Your reaction involves shooting and the prey’s reaction involves running.

At some point in human history, someone noticed that under those circumstances we can shoot at something that isn’t really prey, like a fellow hunter. So hunters wear something a little extra, the orange vest that says, “Hey, we’re friends. Remember? Don’t shoot.”

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Posted by David Hamilton in Communication and tagged , , , , ,
01 Jun 2009
1 Comment

Out of Age

A life transition is a common backdrop for someone deciding to seek counseling. Maybe it’s because life transitions lead us to ask big questions. And big questions are hard to answer alone.

This time of year you’ll see a lot of Open Houses to celebrate high school graduations, a life transition not only for the graduate, but for the parents, the siblings, and the peer groups of the graduate. At the launching stage, especially with the first or last child, parents can’t help but do some self-evaluation, asking big questions.

  • How did I do as a parent?
  • How did my child “turn out?”
  • Where am I in life?

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Posted by David Hamilton in Parenting and tagged , , , , , , ,
05 May 2009
5 Comments

What’s the story?

lake

I love a good story, whether it comes from a book, a movie, or Lake Wobegon. It doesn’t even have to be true, just good. But true AND good is a nice extra.

Stories stick with us. “Episodic memory”, they call it. Next time you have to remember a list of things try making up  a story about them. See how much easier they are to remember. If you set out to create the world’s best story builder and story “rememberer”, you’d probably be headed toward creating the human brain. Imagine that! We have a built-in Story Processor enclosed in a shock resistant, water proof, case. Maybe stories are that important.

You remember that book you finished reading a while back, the novel you thought was really good? I bet there were times in the middle of the story when things were getting complicated. The characters were in peril. The outcome was in question. Wasn’t it reassuring to feel the pile of unread pages in your right hand? The story’s not over. This isn’t where it ends. There’s still time.

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Posted by David Hamilton in Depression, personal growth and tagged , , , , , , ,
25 Apr 2009
8 Comments

Soft?

yelling“A soft answer turns away anger.”

I’m glad that verse is in proverbs. But sometimes I have to ask myself if I really believe it, since I don’t always act like I do. Sometimes I ask my clients if they believe it. But for now let’s assume it’s true. :)

What exactly does it mean?

We only have a few words to work with here. I kinda’ wish it said more. What type of soft answer? Does that include silence? Silence is pretty soft right?

Umm.. Anyone who has been on the receiving end of the “silent treatment” knows it doesn’t feel very soft. But, I can make the mistake of thinking “Silence is not as harsh as what I COULD say so it’s a soft answer.”

So why is that other person still angry?

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Posted by David Hamilton in Communication, Emotions in the Bible and tagged , , , , , , , ,
17 Apr 2009
2 Comments

The Ugliest Word

Wordle: 167hours2

What is the ugliest word in the English language? My vote is for “guilt.” Even sin is fun for a season, but I haven’t found that to be true for guilt.

It would be so nice if there were a remedy for our sin AND our guilt.

Unremedied guilt can mess up our lives in so many ways. It provides a way for the world to still “be all about me” and my guilt. The weight of guilt narrows our world. Like a car that travels over and over again on a road that cannot sustain the weight, a rut is formed and once formed is almost self sustaining. It becomes the defining feature of that section of road. Forever after we give that rut “the attention it deserves.” We now refer to that section of road as “that place with the deep rut in it.”

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Posted by David Hamilton in Depression, Emotions in the Bible, personal growth and tagged , , , , , , , , ,
02 Apr 2009
2 Comments

Everyone talks about the weather but no one does anything about it.

- my paraphrase of Mark Twain’s wisdom.

Cloudy Sky3.JPG

Climate-zone.com tells me that Grand Rapids has on average 205 cloudy days a year.  (They count partially cloudy days separately. So cloudy really means CLOUDY.)  Recently moving from northern California where the average number of clear days is about 3 times what it is here, I’m pretty sure my body notices that something has changed. Today I hear on the radio that Sunday we could have 6 inches of snow. It’s April 2nd. Enough already!

Our environment plays a crucial role in how we feel and act. The effect feels just plain “physical.” At these times, it’s very difficult to identify thoughts or beliefs that are “causing” what my body feels.  Luckily changing how my body feels is not the only option. This is what I do (when I remember) and it may be helpful to you.

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Posted by David Hamilton in Depression, personal growth and tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
24 Mar 2009
3 Comments

Where is the Zero in Sudoku?

Yes, I’ve finally gotten bitten by the Sudoku bug.

And it’s about time ‘cuz I was having such difficulty with all the down time between work and a family of 6 and all their school and sports events? I mean what am I supposed to do when I’ve already caught up on all the past episodes of Lost, 24, and Prison Break?

Thanks, Lynne, for giving me that innocent little Sudoku book.

Daily Sudoku Fun

Sudoku is a simple puzzle with very few rules. Just put every number in the right place..  the first time… with no guessing.

It feels good!

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Posted by David Hamilton in Depression, personal growth and tagged , , , , , , , , ,

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