The Other 167 Hours

life outside the session

Archive for the tag “anxiety”

31 Jan 2012
11 Comments

Someone to speak our words

We all have some days that are longer than others. And not in a good way! Thoughts of giving up, giving in, backing down, come at us again and again… even into the night hours. In days (or months) like those, we need to speak words of commitment to our God and to what He is trying to build in us and in the world.

Sometimes these words of commitment to keep going… we can’t even get ourselves to say.  They die on our lips. They won’t come out even though in our heart we want to be able to say them. We believe them. But maybe speaking them seems to strain that belief too much.

We need someone else to say them for us. We may even need someone else to believe them for us.

Read more…

Posted by David Hamilton in Depression and tagged , , , , , , , , , ,
16 Feb 2011
17 Comments

Emotional Basic Training: Emotional Self-awareness

Hearing, sight, taste, touch, smell

What would life be like if we only had those 5 senses?

Reading glasses

Image via Wikipedia

What about balance and proprioception?
If I closed my eyes I wouldn’t know if I were right-side up or up-side down. I wouldn’t know where my arms and legs were without looking.

What about… emotional self-awareness? I wouldn’t know how I felt about you or how I felt about me. I would have a very difficult time making decisions. (Yes, emotions are essential for making many decisions no matter how logical you think you are. Logic is always in the service of some emotion. ) I wouldn’t feel attached to anything or anybody so I wouldn’t feel loss. I also wouldn’t know if I belonged.

Read more…

Posted by David Hamilton in Emotional Basic Training and tagged , , , , , , , , ,
24 Aug 2010
26 Comments

Fear of being alone: our greatest fear?

Port-42
Image via Wikipedia

It’s possible that being alone is not just our greatest fear but our only fear.

It could be the active ingredient in our fear of death. It could be the element we empathically resonate with when we fear something happening to our children. Even our fear of rejection seems not so much about the rejection as it is about the imagined result of the rejection – being alone.

Our fear of harm, pain, suffering, damage… these may all be connected to the imagined end product – being alone.

I understand that aloneness is the active ingredient in Hell. Hell is the only place where our fear of being alone can finally come true, making it terrifying beyond anything we have ever felt.

I’ve often told people, “First relax. First don’t be afraid.” But that may not go far enough up stream. Must we deal first with the fear of being alone before we can deal with any fear or anxiety in the general sense?

Read more…

Posted by David Hamilton in Fear and Anxiety and tagged , , , ,
02 Feb 2010
13 Comments

Social Anxiety: Monsters Under the Bed

Scared child
Image via Wikipedia

Fear and anxiety get in the way of relationships. We want to feel safe. We like it when we can relax.

We all know certain people who are easy to be around. We  know others whom we would rather not run into. I think most of us would rather be in the first group. So how does that work? Does it have anything to do with monsters under the bed?

Read more…

Posted by David Hamilton in Fear and Anxiety and tagged , , , , , , , ,
01 Dec 2009
6 Comments

Life by the Slice

Biting off more than you can chew can be messy and embarrassing and certainly takes some of the joy out of eating. There is one built-in limit that partially protects us from taking a bite too big:  we can only open our mouths so wide. I wouldn’t advise letting that be your only guide, but for the sake of children everywhere I’m glad we at least have that. And, since almost all of us have learned the lesson early in life we should feel free to apply it wherever it may be helpful… figuratively, I mean.

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Posted by David Hamilton in Depression, Fear and Anxiety and tagged , , , , , , , ,
05 Oct 2009
3 Comments

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing wrong.

I suppose the title of this post is worth saying.  So, it’s worth saying it wrong. Good thing, since many people do get this saying wrong. I bet you’ve heard people say, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.”

Yeah, that’s kind of helpful to know but, not nearly as valuable as, “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing wrong.” You don’t hear that as much. Come to think of it, I might be the only one that says it that way. Boy, that’s embarrassing… unless it’s true.

For the sake of simplicity let’s use these labels:

Version A

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.

Version A-

It it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing wrong.

Read more…

Posted by David Hamilton in personal growth and tagged , , , , , ,
28 Sep 2009
3 Comments

If time heals all wounds, why do ambulances have sirens?

Healing does take time, but so does gangrene. It would be a mistake to overlook the action oriented aspects of healing. Sometimes there are things we need to do in order to heal. Just waiting is not enough. What we think of as optimism turns out to be neglect. Read more…

Posted by David Hamilton in Depression and tagged , , , ,
14 Jun 2009
2 Comments

Special Needs Children

Let’s face it. Some children are easier to raise than others. Some make us more anxious parents than others. This post is for those of you who don’t have to be told that.

So, you know that when I talk about anxiety in parenting, it’s not just a pretend, sort of theoretical anxiety, right? It’s pretty much real, tangible, anxiety – like we’re not kidding around any more. Isn’t it? Sometimes it’s a “Bad things do really happen” type of anxiety. Or a “Bad things really have happened” type of anxiety.

It’s anxiety that’s connected to some unique history or characteristic of our child. We know that life is not going to be the same for them as for other children. We know that we have been asked to carry a burden that is different from that of many around us. So what about THAT type of anxiety?

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Posted by David Hamilton in Parenting and tagged , , , ,
05 May 2009
5 Comments

What’s the story?

lake

I love a good story, whether it comes from a book, a movie, or Lake Wobegon. It doesn’t even have to be true, just good. But true AND good is a nice extra.

Stories stick with us. “Episodic memory”, they call it. Next time you have to remember a list of things try making up  a story about them. See how much easier they are to remember. If you set out to create the world’s best story builder and story “rememberer”, you’d probably be headed toward creating the human brain. Imagine that! We have a built-in Story Processor enclosed in a shock resistant, water proof, case. Maybe stories are that important.

You remember that book you finished reading a while back, the novel you thought was really good? I bet there were times in the middle of the story when things were getting complicated. The characters were in peril. The outcome was in question. Wasn’t it reassuring to feel the pile of unread pages in your right hand? The story’s not over. This isn’t where it ends. There’s still time.

Read more…

Posted by David Hamilton in Depression, personal growth and tagged , , , , , , ,

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