Top 10 Regrets
Regret number 5 is …I cared about other people’s problems.
as many years as they have been
as close as any dearest kin
as like in ways as twin to twin
They still loved from a distance. Read more…
I’ll be in a few of the clips from the special series on relationships that Fox 17 is doing in November. Here is a link to one of them. Online Relationships
Update: for some reason they never ran the series. Don’t know why.
When, by chance, your car breaks down, your cell is out of range and you are walking through the woods to find help on a moonless, starless night, with the woman you love beside you…
When neither of you can see a hand in front of your face and she calls out, “Are you there?” because she can’t feel you next to her…
When, for a split second, it crosses your mind to be silent, just for a moment, and then you realize she would NOT think it was funny…
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God‘s likeness… Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? – James 3:9-11
Lord, I keep track of others’ sins much better than I keep track of mine. I hope that’s okay. But I’m very committed to that seventy-times-seven teaching on forgiveness. For example, I know that Jim, the new guy, has only sinned against me 13 times and Aunt Gracie is at 55… no, make that 56 counting the comment she made during the Easter Egg hunt.
We have all heard anger talked about as if it were people stuffing into a phone booth. It gets more and more uncomfortable and the only way to make it better is to let some out. Get it off your chest. Don’t stuff it down. Let off some steam. Many think of anger management within a pressure-release model. I would like to convince you otherwise.
You’re in a competition, a heated discussion, an argument…
Somewhere, deep inside, you have an idea of what’s really being debated, what’s really on the table. What will be won or lost? Pride, bragging rights, your job, your marriage, money?
How about that job interview? What is really on the table? What does it feel like is on the table? Is it your personal value, your professional value, God’s blessing on your life, your economic future, the approval of a parent, the chance to change jobs, the chance to get this particular job at this particular time?
How about that argument with your spouse? What does it feel like is up for debate? The love of your spouse, your marriage, your pride, your free time, your independence?
We love to be the one with the remote. Right?
In spite of our attachment to the remote, there are some occasions where we seem to willingly give it away. It happens with our emotions. It’s like we have an emotional remote control and we allow it to be in the hands of some other person. That person then seems to have almost complete control over what we feel, when and how much. Or maybe we are the one that seems to be handed the emotional remote control every time that person comes around. We feel horrible if we can’t find the right channel, and we usually can’t.
Do you remember that feeling you had the last time you saw a child, maybe one of yours, doing something that could hurt themselves or another person? Maybe it was running with scissors. Maybe it was standing too close to the edge of a cliff. Maybe it was swinging some object on a string around and around as they spun with their eyes closed. (Maybe it’s too easy for me to think of these examples and my neurotic parenting style is showing.)
You wanted to stop it, right? And not just because the child could get hurt, but also because they could hurt someone else unintentionally. But you’re kind of in a bind, right? If you run right up to grab them, bad things could happen. Someone could get hurt. If you tell them, with some urgency, how dangerous you think it is, they might decide to prove you wrong by pushing it a little. Someone could get hurt. If you do nothing at all, someone could get hurt.
Wow! I’m sure glad we outgrow that running with scissors thing! At least I think we almost do… mostly… more or less.
short answer: Thankfully, no.
longer answer: Okay, think for a minute about the building of Solomon’s temple back in about 1,000 BC. From what I understand it was magnificent. Materials from all over the known world were used, gold, stone, wood, fabric. It all came together to form the temple. I’m particularly interested in the large stone boulders, or slabs, because of the weight and the amount of work it must have taken to get them in place. Weight and bulk were basic characteristics of those stones.
Let’s be clear on one point. We do bad things.
We are not “good people” in the absolute sense. We are people of worth, but we do decidedly bad things. Things where, “Oh, that’s okay” doesn’t really cover it. It really wasn’t “okay”, that thing we did. But we can admit our bad deeds if there is such a thing as forgiveness.
If there is no forgiveness then we probably would be better off telling ourselves that we are good people that never really mean to hurt anyone. We make mistakes, but don’t do bad things. Apart from not being true, this attitude would serve us well… if forgiveness did not exist.
Luckily, true forgiveness really does exist. So what is it? Forgetting? Accepting an apology? Acting as if it never happened?
Many of you have seen the bumper stickers that say ‘Love Wins’ and I guess I tend to react inside with “Well, yeah, sort of, I think I know what you mean.” I’m glad that so many people are proclaiming the power of love and starting conversations about the real love expressed on the cross.
You know there’s a “but” coming, right?
But due, in part, to the work I see couples needing to do to repair their marriages, I want a little different message. Something like “Love is willing to lose” might be close.
“True love is willing to risk rejection” (thanks Brady) would be even longer and therefore a very poor candidate for your car’s rear end sermonette.
David Hamilton
Guest Author
