Pieces of Hurt in High School
- Image by bass_nroll via Flickr
There is hurt all around us.
Yes, there are things to be done, things that might help. But first we need to be willing to just hear about it and be sad. We can’t skip that step.
From the Facebook of a High School student, re-posted here with her permission:
Dear Reader,
As much as I probably shouldn’t say a lot of the following, I’m not hesitating to do so anyway.
I attend a high school like any other high school, really. And just as any other “normal” teenager, I’m surrounded by an environment where the people and teachers are so used to judgment and criticism in the past that they don’t even bother to correct these flaws now. It saddens me to see that my peers think it’s considered weird or stupid to be intelligent. Or do they?
It’s disappointing when you work hard on your school work in classes and at home and end up getting a deathly grade with no encouragement for the next try, nothing at all. Maybe you’ll hear, “Study next time,” or “Pay more attention in class”. Some people are really trying hard in school, but the need their life too. It never made sense to me why most students always seemed to be a little cocky. Now I know why. I’ve noticed I’m slowly starting to become one of those students. That’s not what I want at all.
The two things I’m constantly stressing about is either,
- Having to go to school for six hours everyday
or,
- Having to finish homework for school the next day
Isn’t learning supposed to be fun? Sure, high school is supposed to be hard. But I think we’ve gotten that idea stuck in the back of our head so much that it’s hard to take it out and really think about what we’re doing.
When I was home schooled I made really wonderful and true friends who I don’t doubt will always stay my life-long friends. I left that after having some of those relationships for over 6 years. They’re still my friends of course, but it really got to me when I came into a high school full of wonderful people with great potential who don’t even understand how much of an impact they have on people. We are supposed to be setting a good example for people, aren’t we?
According to my school we’re supposed to think that everything is about us.
My classes during my K-8 years were the most exciting yet challenging. We had fun, we socialized, we had relationships with our teachers like we were one huge family. And who says that we can’t carry that on to high school? Just because we are getting older, learning how to cope with different experiences and people, getting into serious relationships, taking new classes and adapting to a new environment, that does not mean the school system shouldn’t try and stop the students who don’t care from vandalizing the lives of other people with even their small actions.
- Every day someone cuts me in the lunch line.
- Every day someone says the F word.
- Every day someone is crying.
- Every day a teacher yells at their students.
- Every day a student insults a teacher.
- Every day there is a new rumor.
- And every day, little by little, we are taking pieces of our intelligence and turning them into pieces of hurt and hate.
And all these things may seem so small right now, but looking back and at now and then imagining way further into the future, how is the school system going to function then?
I can’t do this on my own. It’s stressful for me to see other people ruin their life and knock other people down every day. I don’t know why its so hard to be a nice person, to respect others.
I’m sorry to say that I’m not enjoying my high school experience as much as I would like to.
I would hope that I’m not the only one to notice that this goes on each day because that would just prove my whole point.
Nobody cares.
Clara Ann
David Hamilton
Clara Ann,
Tonight I just had a conversation after youth group with 5 girls that are in high school, one whom was my step daughter. I stood there speechless as they poured out their frustrations and cried over the drama that is going on and all the pressure on getting good grades, you know… everything you just talked about. The pressure just seems to be crashing in and the joy is fading fast. That was the theme of these 5 girls, where’s the joy, why does it have to be so hard. I sat there not knowing what to say??? I had just talked my heart out 30 minutes ago to them about purity and no question was too hard for me to answer… but this… I was completely speechless… I had one girl who quit basketball because the girls were so mean and another who’s boyfriend broke up with her because she would “give in”, one who studies and studies and her parents aren’t happy with her B. “What do we do”, they asked? I felt so inadequate as a youth leader and mom…
Well… we came to this conclusion… we need to pray for our schools… and it needs to start with you guys, the youth praying for your school. There is this great, I mean GREAT origination called “Claim your campus” and if you are a high school student and a Christian… then you know that your school needs prayer… so:) Clara Ann, I guess why I am writing you is because I have a passion for youth and my heart hears your cry and it breaks my heart to know that the joy is being stolen from students.
So my challenge to you and to my girls I talked to earlier tonight is… go on claim you campus.com and see how prayer changed their High School the website will encourage you! … Good luck sweetie:) I will pray for you… check out that website:) I hope it helps! Let me know what you think:)
http://www.claimyourcampus.com
You can find them on Facebook too:)
Frozen. [Claim Your Campus] from Ryan Humm on Vimeo.
As a parent of 4 teens right now I can totally understand what this person is writing. I had to remove 3 of my kids from a school recently because of how bad they were harassed and threatened. I had prayed a lot over this and still the situation got worse. My 14 year became depressed over how she was treated in her high school. She is going through counseling now. There is only so much these kids can take. I am very disappointed in how the school my kids were in failed to protect them when they knew that this harassment was going on. Many teachers turn their heads away from it and some school officials try to sweep it under the rug. It is sad how many of these kids who are trying to learn and do all the right things in school are treated so horribly. How do you tell a teen to just pray about it…isn’t that just ignoring the problem too?
Jamey,
I am a parent of a 3 year-old and a 9 year-old… My step daughter is a freshman in High School. Being a mom of a teenager is very new for me! She was the girl who the girls on her JV basketball team was so mean too! My step daughter cried herself to sleep almost every night over this. I did what I could humenly about the situation, called paretns, talked to the coach… nothing helped, it all just go worse! She said I give up nothing we do is going to help… I am just going to pray and pray and ask God what I should do… she was right! “When everything we do fails we pray and even we we take action you pray… that is what she wrote in the letter to her coach when she quite.
I have worked with teens for 3 years now and one thing that they have taught me is how helpful it is to pray for each other and their school. And the power of prayer at times seems like ignoring the problem… I am an action girl… if someone is doing something to my kids of course I am going to stand up and tell them how I feel and try to fix the situation. I have marched into the schools of so many of my teens and had words with teachers who mistreat my youth students and there parents won’t stick up for them… and then I go home and don’t even pray about it. Nothing I did ever helped…. Until my teens started doing CYC at their school. After one week the teacher who would swear at my teen pulled her aside and said she was sorry. The “girl” drama that was going on is not as bad(so my teens report back) and this is JR. high… that is a miracle in it’s self.
You would know more than me on raising teens for sure! But I sat there and listened in a seminar from CYC(claim your campus) stories after stories on how TEENS Praying in their schools alone changed there campus.
It breaks my heart that it is so hard from them and that your daughter has suffered from this. I don’t think that your prayers aren’t working. I think that right now about a prayer with a differnt situation… I wish it would just work…
I just think that if the teens start putting prayer and GOD back into the schools that they would change. They’re the only ones who can do it! At least in the public schools.
I’m sure nothing I say is going to help… and I could use more advice on parenting from a mom of 4 teenagers who could teach me a lot:) I just have seen with my eyes how this has worked and I guess I would so badly hope it could work in the school that your teens have had trouble with… it does make me feel so sad for her and I would love to shake those kids who are so mean!!! I have literally had to turn and walk away from the girls who hurt my daughter! We love them and just want them to be happy, they are only a teenager once… life is so unfair:( I truly will pray about your situation!!! More prayer=more power:) that is what some of my teens I work with say:)
Contact CYC and ask them if they will come to your kids school and talk to them about how it works… they will!
~L
I talk too much ~ sorry:)
I understand what you are saying ~L…I just have different views on this. I do believe in prayer and I also believe that God does not remove all the problems we pray for him to remove…otherwise we wouldn’t have so many problems in society today. And I also don’t believe we should expect our kids to put back prayer and God in the schools… us parents should be doing that. If the parents want to have prayer groups and include the teens then that is great, but I believe that parents should be out there advocating for change.
Just my opinion.
I don’t believe that God removes all the problems we pray to be removed either… I have been struggling a little with that lately…
And it would be nice if parents/adults/teachers/staff could start prayer in the schools, but we can’t… a little law put that to an end. So that is why students started… they ARE aloud to… and we should not expect our kids to do it… but passing on info to them to see if they would want to do it does not hurt. It’s not going to take all the problems away but if they are talking to their God about life and he hears there cry… if anything they will receive some comfort from there heavenly father. Parents can advocate for it… but we are not aloud (at lest in the public schools) I think if you sat in on a CYC seminar you would really be impressed with the adults and parents who are doing all the work and just sparking the interest in our teens and encouraging them to put prayer back… it is not rocket science… they just meet somewhere for 20 min and pray in there school. How can that not be a good thing…
Well just my opinion… but I have seen it work… so it is easier for me to believe…
I wish When I prayed I would get an answer to what I need an answer too.. and maybe I will someday… and maybe I won’t… but I am still praying and will pray for you and your family tonight.
… and Clara Ann, if you are reading any of the comments I am still praying for you! I shared your article with my step daughter and she said, “how true all that is” She said that she will pray for you too:)
~L, you would be amazed at what advocating for change can do. Someone had to advocate to take God and prayer out of the schools and I believe that parents can advocate to put God and prayer back. You may not get the results you want at the time but it does set the path for change. I remember when I was in elementary school, we were allowed to attend a bible group during school hours and prayer was allowed. How times have changed. I am glad I was able to have that experience since my parents never talked about God in our home and I came from a broken home. It would be great to see kids have that choice again in our schools.
Thanks for the discussion, I always learn something from having these. :)
I’m in high school and believe me it’s a war zone! People are so mean! Teachers could care less why you never pick your head up or why you’re always sad. Some days I wonder whats the point. If it wasn’t for sports I wouldn’t even try. The school system is screwed up and it would take a whole lot of praying to see a change in my high school!
It can start with you… one prayer is better than none to a loving God who loves you for who you really are! The one good thing about having a heavenly father is that he has more love for you than you could ever know. As you know… we live in a world full of hate and people who take what they want to make them self feel good… it’s only a temporary fix for them. When we call on the name of the Lord and have a personal relationship with God… He gives us a hope that we could never understand! Okay… I know I am telling you to read a lot… but I think this will really really help you:)
http://untitledmoments.com/crazy-love/a-promise-that-rings-true/
I read this verse in the bible a few weeks ago and searched for the deeper meaning in it… I came across this… and I really think you will like it. My heart truly reaches out to you!