Social Anxiety: Monsters Under the Bed
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Fear and anxiety get in the way of relationships. We want to feel safe. We like it when we can relax.
We all know certain people who are easy to be around. We know others whom we would rather not run into. I think most of us would rather be in the first group. So how does that work? Does it have anything to do with monsters under the bed?
I can remember scaring myself as a child. At night I would imagine all the things that could be hiding in that dark corner of the closet or under the bed. There were a few things the room just was not telling me. It was being vague or even stingy with information. When something is dark and unknown, we just start filling in the blanks. Since all of us have fears, we have plenty of ready material to draw from.
When the light goes on in the room, our fears lose their grip. The room hasn’t really changed. I mean, the shoes and papers and toys that were under the bed are still under the bed. The corner of the closet is still there. But it’s light now. We can stop guessing and imagining. The room really wasn’t out to get us. It didn’t mean anything by it. How could it be blamed for what my imagination did?
I want to be more like a well-lit room than a dark room. I don’t want people who are close to me to have to wonder and use imagination and guess. That’s what we do in a dark room and we end up scaring ourselves.
If people have to guess what you feel, what you think, what you know, there are a certain percentage who will scare themselves. When you hoard information, people feel uncomfortable. You may not mean to make them feel that way. Neither did my childhood bedroom. But it still scared me.
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167hours
Guest Author
Unspoken information. The unknown is always bigger and scarier. And boy am I good at filling in the blanks.
What’s unknown or what’s avoided can be as big as we can imagine. The known can only be as big as it is.
Wow, that’s a great explanation. Thanks for all you do!
what happens when the known is bigger than we can handel and it seems there’s no way in avoiding it either????
I feel like I am reading something I wrote a few years ago :( Sometimes avoiding it is not what is possible to get the help we need.
Read the post http://167hours.net/2010/01/04/what-if-it-still-hurts/
It was this post when I firsts realized that they’re somethings in life that you have to accept. (even the ones that you so desperately wish you could wish away!!!) It’s the unbelievable amount of courage that comes in that, that becomes your first step. I wrote a blog about courage… I think it may help…
http://untitledmoments.com/2010/07/13/courage/
I wish that I could help you somehow! You’re a beautiful young girl that the world is just waiting to see the “real you” shine! It might take a little time for you to understand the meaning of this all! I feel like with each word I type it’s not going to make an ounce of the pain any better. I wish it would though. Be strong! I am fighting too… it’s better to fight for who we really are than to let someone define who they would like us to be or become…. praying for you often today!
I am glad people don’t know what I think right now… the corridors of my mind is too scary. Maybe I am like that new show about hoarders… but I just do it with all these memories and there is no room for joy anymore….
~L
“Corridors of my mind” Poetic! I think everyone minds are a scary place. I checked out this girls blog and she can write! ~L, you need to write more! Great Blog post. I think I will subscribe to your blog Dave.
I have to agree with you, Jaylynn I did to. It’s good stuff.
I tried to go to ~L’s blog but I can’t find it anymore, I thought I just went on wordpress.com and searched ~L, no such luck this time? I don’t remember how I found it:) do you mind , ~L if I get your blog address:) Thanks
<3 Jaylynn
ah, It is not that poetic… :) Thanks though:) ummm… my blog is untiledmoments.wordpress.com Nothing too great about it just a bunch of words thrown together….
“The known can only be as big as it is.” It can’t be embellished, diminished or ignored; there it is.
“When people have to guess what you feel, what you think”…oh, does this get already strained relationships into even bigger messes! An excellent paragraph encouraging us to communicate openly and honestly; maybe even when our honest communication isn’t reciprocated?
This is so true… It is just so hard to say how you feel, think when it comes to the hard stuff…. blah blah blah… I think that the Psychologist should know what we think ;) or at least guess… and we can let you know if you’re right :) It would make it so much easier! :)
LOL!!!! :) So we go in sit there for an hour relax from the world and spend tons of money for them to read minds… this would be so much easier!